A New Year of Truths

Attempting to take a squirmy gerbil picture in new baby Christmas camo. From back left: Nephew #2 (11mons), Nephew #1 (almost 6) , Nephew #3 (6mons). Front: the newest addition, my Baby H (4wks).

Wishing all of you a wonderful and bright new year! To kick off the new year, the other night I got my first baby kisses. While I know that at 4.5 weeks old, the reality is that he was just mimicking me, the truth is, it was the most incredible thing ever, and like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day :)  

One of my good friends told me that when my son was born, she wanted to know the real truth behind this whole parenthood thing. My answer (so far) to that question is that there are 2 truths. The first truth is that of core values and common sense. It is unwavering and never changes, and it seems that you either have them or you don't; you either pass them on to your kids your you don't. Throughout the ages, it has been the same, unwavering truth. The second truth is that you redefine luxury and love the moment they are born. Pre-baby luxury included long stretches of uninterrupted time alone, enjoying a glass of wine or a meal without a time limit, and jumping in the shower whenever I pleased, taking as long as I wanted to bathe. Post-baby luxury is any stretch of time, knowing full well I will be interrupted and actually being okay with that :) It is learning how to chug a glass of wine or spend 4 hours drinking it; likewise, it is chowing down on cold toast or protein shake and thinking it is the most delicious food in the world. It is making a choice between taking a shower or returning a phone call, and being completely happy with just having the choice to make in the first place. 

Luxury becomes synonymous with acceptance.

As for love? Well, it's pretty much like a Michael Crichton novel...It's like a billion tiny ultra-bio-machine organisms that fuse to your cells and replicate to the core of your DNA. You are so overtaken by it, whatever it is, that you can't even remember how you lived without it just 5 weeks prior. 

Love, therefore, becomes synonymous with taking a breath.

Reprocessing the World

Mama LOVES to kiss those sweet little cheeks!

I can't believe that Christmas day marks the 4-week birthday of my baby boy, already! Even more unbelievable is the enormous quantity of data that both of our brains have processed in that short time :) The most surprising thing about being a new mom, so far, is the fact that your brain literally reroutes and reprocesses the entire world around you in that context. Nobody told me about that part of all this, but perhaps it happens to make you more aware of the fact that your little baby is going through the same thing. Maybe it is the most intimate thing that you can share with your child, besides love. 

My incision is healing very nicely and quickly (yeay), and I can take stairs like nobody's business. Today marked a few firsts in the marathon training of post c-section motherhood: First outing by myself with just baby and first time I was able to lift him in the carseat into the car AND from the car to the stroller. Today was also the first day that I didn't really have any pain and felt the urge to stretch my tummy, which itched through to the deepest layer. A sign of healing, I presume. The bottom line? All of this equates to a visible form of freedom, mobility, and long walks in the foothills of the Cascades.

We are ready (and so excited) for the Curly Blonde and Nephew #3 to come up for Christmas and come with us on our winter walks!

  Wishing you all a blessed and bright holiday!

Humbling Confession Session

Walk to the mailbox. 2010. The Finish Line

Of the 600 things I said I would never do when I became a parent, I believe I have already done approximately 15 of them in the first 2 weeks of my son's life. Humbling, to say the least. That, by the way, is exactly what I get for being a judgmental, cantankerous young woman. In light of the fact that it is Wednesday (and a person should tell the truth on Wednesday), I thought I might share a few of these things. Take what you will from this, be it humor, pity, empathy, or just plain data. The bottom line? Love makes you do crazy things, the most important of which is to laugh at yourself :)

1. I will never use disposable diapers (haha)...Well, you tell me after you've had a c-section, how many loads of laundry you're realistically able to do, even with your mother doing most of your lifting and laundry for you in the first 2 weeks. The compromise? Seventh Generation, chlorine free diapers.

2. I will never let my baby fall asleep in front of the TV...Born to 2 pretty quiet parents, my son likes noise. It could be because he is a newborn, or it could be that this is something he just likes. We won't know for a while. But I can tell you, he wakes up as soon as the room is quiet. He prefers having his head on someone's chest, in front of the TV (blaring so that his deaf mother and grandfather can hear it), with the sound of the babbling brook going on the swing. He also "likes" classical music and ESPN news :) Much to his father's dismay, I also believe he likes Jewell and Judy Garland, only because both of those voices have stopped him in his crying tracks on more than one occasion. The compromise? None. The damn thing is on 24-7 now.

3. I will never let my baby sleep anywhere other than his bassinet or crib (haha)...Oh yes...He sleeps everywhere. I have tried very hard to make it a habit that as SOON as I see his little mouth-breather mouth open (a sign he is for really real asleep), he goes in the crib, especially during the day. The compromise? It has become such that in the night (between 10pm and 5am) I let him sleep in my bed after feedings. Co-sleeping is something that has been greatly discouraged in the last several years due to SIDS research; however, it is making a comeback now that a lot of people in the parenting and medical community have begun to realize what total BS a lot of that info is. Common sense wins. Don't put blankets on your baby's face; lay them on their back. Done and done. The 2 times he has had long sleep sessions (3.5-4 hours at a time) have been  co-sleeping sessions. He also sleeps for short periods in his swing, on my shoulder, and pretty much on anyone who wants a sleeping baby on their chest, in the car, in the stroller....this list goes on.

Light in the Wilderness...Welcome to the World, My Son!

My beautiful son, born just after Thanksgiving, to 2 grateful (and smitten) parents!

Me, my seconds-old baby, and my Mom, after one unplanned and successful c-section

Snuggly, pink, and loves our [very] short little winter walks outside! So far, I think he looks like a pretty good cross between BAH and I, except for his giant hands...no idea where those came from, or whether he'll grow into them or just have really big hands :)

Cousins! With Nephew #1, who has done a very good job of trying to be quiet to let his auntie sleep because even though Baby H can sleep through anything...his momma can't :)

Our first outing! BAH was particularly excited about the "beer holder" on the stroller in this photo...

They say you need to sleep when the baby sleeps. Let me tell you that this is 1) the most important piece of advice you will receive, 2) the hardest thing to do amid countless (and blessed, welcomed, appreciated) phone calls, visitors, text messages, adrenaline, hunger, etc., and 3) something that is easy once you actually learn to do it and see how good you and baby both feel as a result! Having had a c-section, this is particularly important in pain management and overall sanity, so for those of you who find yourselves in the same boat one day, remember...sleep!

My sweet baby boy and I are currently enjoying my Mom's delicious cooking and one goal in life right now, which is to see to it I am well-fed. My Dad has been helpful too! He keeps the downstairs firewood supply nice and stalked up since I am not able to lift anything heavier than the baby or go up and down stairs just yet. He has also been very helpful at providing rock-a-bye sessions and keeping Nephew #1 entertained. 

Week #1 in getting to know this sweet baby boy has been a wild ride. I've never felt so humbled, clueless, and in love in my entire life. It's like a combination of being in survival mode and having an out-of-body experience; of that feeling when you first fall in love and of that knowledge that comes with the realization that looking into those big, baby eyes is like falling through a rabbit hole of other-worldly guilt for not knowing a darn thing about how to raise a son, and all you can do about it is give perpetual thanks to God for allowing you the opportunity in spite of this :)

We welcome you to our adventure, my son! You are our light in the wilderness.